cool as hell

you know why I like rock n roll? rock n roll makes you feel cool.

even when you’re not. and I am not cool, this is fact. for instance, while writing this I puzzled over how to correctly punctuate “rock n roll.” and what’s more, today I bought socks at Target.

I went to Target to buy socks. I compared prices. I came up with: ankle cut, Hanes. they came in a plastic bag. and on the way out I swung by the electronics department to look for five-dollar DVDs. purchased: “Highlander.”

now that’s some mundane, keep-your-motor-running bullshit. but it’s called being alive; you gotta keep yourself clothed. and I always need goddamn socks. I swear, the washer/dryer combo downstairs takes one in tribute from each load.

but anyway, when you’re buying socks at Target, digging through bags of Fruit of the Loom undergarments, no one is checking you out, wondering about the enticing mystery you’ve built around yourself. what you’re doing later. but while I drove over there, I was listening to the Black Keys — this song — at about 90 decibels. with the windows down, a ratty baseball hat pulled down low at an unnecessary angle, five miles under the speed limit. cruisin’. yeah, I was headed out to buy socks. and while doing so I was gassy, and I had back pain, and bed head, and no one was looking. but thanks to rock n roll, I felt cool as shit doing it. cool as hell, even.

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5 comments so far

  1. Anonymous on

    But Matty,

    You ARE cool as hell

  2. Anonymous on

    I was checking you out at Target…hottest ankles ever

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  4. […] I rode my bike up to a sporting goods store to buy socks, and there’s a Best Buy right next door. Whenever I find myself within 100 yards of that Best Buy […]

  5. […] I rode my bike up to a sporting goods store to buy socks, and there’s a Best Buy right next door. Whenever I find myself within 100 yards of that Best Buy […]


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