Archive for April, 2011|Monthly archive page

he’s a highwayman

no grief: the coitus track, the political 8-ball, and a socially conservative pro-life voting bloc

so, is Daniels gonna sign the abortion bill?
I’ve got a meeting. please give me a lengthy, rant-like response sometime soon.
Mike, the expert: Well, this has to be looked at as a purely political decision.  I don’t think Daniels gives two shits about the actual wrongness of the bill, or the potential consequences to the mother, child, or affected family.  I say this only because it’s not like he’s been a past champion of improving women’s health care (or children’s or the disabled’s or veterans’ health care for that matter).  So, I don’t think signing this bill will keep him up at night, wrestling with his demons … er … I mean his conscience.  I could be wrong, but I don’t think he is thinking of some 17-year-old girl who got accepted into Purdue’s engineering department but just found out she got knocked up by Blane, the absent but studly looking asshole wide receiver who didn’t even last very long, but is obviously fertile enough to give her an unwanted baby while taking her on her very first sex lap around the coitus track.

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my mom sent me a document via email the other day. mom emailing me is an event in itself, but the document was pretty interesting as well: “A History Of Important Events In The Life Of Our Church.” here’s a couple important events:

Sept. 28, 1911

  • Our congregation is organized at the home of Kondrat Krenitzky by seven other Orthodox pioneers who came to Gary due to the development of the steel mills along Lake Michigan. Meeting with two priests from Chicago are Peter Romanyak, Michael Frentzko, Vasil Misko, Efrem Shevcik, Vasil Krochta, Kondrat Krenitzky, John Shevtchuk, and Timofey Lescisin. With a resolve to start a church, $263 is collected.
    Since Rev. Jacob Korchinsky, our temporary priest, arrives on the Feast Day of the Protection of the Virgin Mary, it is decided to assume this name for the church.


  • The Icon of the Nativity is presented to our church from a group of church members originally from the village of Vereschaky in Russia. The icon is inscribed with the donors names in Russian as follows; Phillip Shavkun, John Shavkun, John Koshubara, Theodore Koshubara, Gregory Matsueff, John Gorbachev, and Terenty Yatskoff.
    This coincides with the period of time when our church was under attack by anti-religious groups in America and abroad. Red paint is smeared on our white sanctuary.

April 20, 1947

  • Divine Liturgy in English is completed and published by St. Mary’s Parent-Teachers Council (PTC).

you get the idea? probably not. family church turns a century this year, and my mom’s on the committee compiling historical documents for the anniversary. I’m glad she sends me this stuff.

the evening in horrible movies

I’m watching “Red Sonja.” it’s pretty awful, but for as awful as I was forewarned that it was going to be, I think it could be worse. I’m convinced that a lot of movies could be greatly improved upon should you just cut the audio out and add your own. I would suggest what’s below, and set it to the scene where Schwarzenegger, Brigitte Nielsen and the heavyset comic relief are raiding the evil queen’s castle in search of “the taslisman” … for what end, I don’t know, because I haven’t been listening to the dialouge. but this soundtrack would definitely take the edge off of a harsh film:

there was some severe weather today. and bookending a successful attempt at vegetarian lasagna, I got caught in the rain twice. both times totally unnecesarily. but that’s okay. I got my run in. and getting pneumonia builds character.

dear Smith:

You can blame the Republicans for lacking empathy or policy sense, but they had a transparent process. HR 1 was published long ago, and anybody with a little policy experience — a reporter, say — could have detailed the likely results. But we never had the real debate — just a bunch of horse-race reporting between two sides that wanted to cut different amounts. And the end result will be substantially different policy in more areas than I can even know about now.


Mike: yeah, you see that at the state level a lot
it’s something that pisses me off quite a bit whenever we have the “unemployment fund” debate
me: the unemployed are lazy, smith
end the welfare state
Mike: at the national level too.  Like when we put some sort of arbitrary cap on the amount of time you can get unemployment benefits, 99 weeks with the federal extension, etc.
yeah, totally
me: yeah. if you havent found a job by then? tough shit
we’re not helping you look for a new one, neither!
hit the curb, rummy!
Mike: Whenever I talk to my conservative patriots, I always ask them, well, you spend all this time and effort in putting safe gaurds in the system to prove that the people who are using the system actually need it, you’ve made them prove that they are looking for jobs, they have to fill out and submit vouchers, they have to prove that they’re complying with all the stated regs, by meeting with a caseworker (that is of course until you tried to nix caseworkers), but now, even after you make them prove that, yes, I am looking for work but I have not been able to find anything in this fucking horrible economy so I’m still looking; yeah, even if they prove that, you’re still going to say, well buddy, sorry, I know you’ve done everything we’ve asked of you, but you just his this magic number, and shucks, we’re all fresh out of empathy… so, good luck, vote republican and go fuck yourself.
me: HA
Mike: I understand that sometimes you have to cut people off to stave off a dependent mindset, but it’s dumb to have that fight in a recession recovery with high unemployment.  Actually, it’s fucking ridiculous is what it is.  When the unemployment level drops, and jobs are more plentiful, I’ll be much more sympathetic to the arguments that the unemployed could find a job if they really wanted to.  For some, that maybe be the case, but the argument doesn’t hold any water when we’ve got 5-1 applicant to job ratio.
me: but
but the welfare state
Mike: I know
it keeps me up at night.
I get nightmares, Matt.  Real nightmares.  I wake up in a cold sweat with haunting images still floating in my brain of liberal deadbeats sucking off the Statute of Liberty’s tit… Always sucking, never satisfied, until she dries up and withers away… like the French.
me:  you’ve seen this too?
i thought it was only me
Mike: Thank god.
I’m not alone.
I tell ya, it takes 3 beers, a shot of Jim Beam and 30 minutes of domestic abuse with the wife and kids before I’m able to get some sleep.

here’s joey

I took a break from the blog. these things happen.

but here we are, back in Washington, where it’s growing warmer outside once again. there’s cherry blossoms and the like. and I am lucky enough to witness one of the dumbest things mine eyes have ever gazed upon, no small feat considering the many dumb things I’ve seen: a federal shutdown.
I don’t really know what the hell is going on. there was this war something, in what, in Libya? something about unions? another civil war-esque conflict in the west Africa. I read a headline that said Portugal’s economy had to get floated by the EU … but fuck it. the mighty Democrat and the brave Republican have met on the field of battle in a nicely lit room on Capitol Hill to get a whole lot of nothing done on passing a budget.
for anyone who really hasn’t been paying attention to this — and if you haven’t you must’ve been trying pretty hard — keep in mind that they’re arguing over funding that’s limited to (I’m pretty sure, at least) non-defense discretionary spending in the 2011 budget. and that’s even though they’re halfway through the 2011 fiscal year. congress never managed to pass a 2011 budget, so as soon as they’re done with this horseshit, they have to deal with the next budget proposal. and if this is the way that budget negotations are going to go in a congressional class full of intellectual dimwits who ran on one promise — cut spending without compromise — nothing’s going to ever get done.

I remember an episode of “The West Wing” — a show that I have grown to hate over the years — where there’s a budget impasse, and mean ol’ Republican speaker of the house shows up at the White House and tries to piss in Martin Sheen’s eye, in a retelling of the shutdown of 1995 starring Clinton and Gingrich.

for years, this piece of popular television informed my opinion of the political events of 1995 as much as anything else. because I was 12 in 1995, and the highlight of it was easily Neil Evans’ birthday party, because somebody rented “Psycho Cop 2” from either Take One Video or the Wiseway on US 30, and we all stayed up late and ate pizza. it’s not like I was paying attention to whatever the hell the Contract With America was. I would have been a grotesque little son of a bitch had I been.

you can see where my tastes lie by my selection of video; in the battle between awful horror movie and pandering television show … the horror movie has a lot of boob scenes, so it’s not really a battle at all.
but I digress. reality is much different. the government will close shop in … 23 hours and 50 minutes now. the fact that the market will shudder and couple hundred thousand workers are going to get  furloughed until that shit gets figured out can’t be lost on congress. that some poor bastard out there, somewhere, will get laid off because of this, in some way, shape or form. congress has to understand that they’re going to collectively take it to the balls come election time if they don’t break this impasse. 
but will they? fuck if I know. I still got to go to work Monday, one way or the other. I imagine the paper is going to be interesting this weekend.