full of typos

it’s election night.
I’m watching Aarti’s dog while Aarti and her friend visit Argentina. she’s been planning this for months.
on the television, Kathleen Parker just said “I’m going to get killed for this,” and called the tea party movement naive.
Elliot Spitzer is talking about how the “Republicans are going to have to come to the table.”
over at the other table, the conservative blogger Erick Erickson and the fat black liberal guy in a nice suit are having an argument, and the black guy is rolling his eyes.
Paul Begala is blathering on about something, and just begging you to jog down to the CNN studio to punch his ass out.
and then, back to the guy who’s actually reading election results, albeit in a strangely toned voice: Wolf Blitzer. Blitzer is is reporting that Senator Russ Feingold is going to lose re-election in Wisconsin. I’m not sure if it’s ironic or not that Russ Feingold is going to lose — to a guy who thinks the Obama administration is leading us toward a “socialist” state — because of  unprecedented corporate poltiical spending. but, there it is.
Andrew Cuomo beat that tea party stereotype to win the governor’s race in New York, and CNN went right to Spitzer to comment. and nobody brought up the fact that Spitzer was the governor of New York until, what, two years ago? and then the prostitution scandal?
nobody said anything! come on, we’re all thinking about it. Begala probably had a goddamn boner while thinking about it. why not rib him? say, “hey, Eliot. got any advice for mister governor?”
there are no less than three tables of six pundits in the CNN studio. I think they’re pumping gas into the room; maybe pure oxygen.
the Republicans, television says, are going to win the House, and John Boehner is reaching out to the tea party candidates who won as Republicans, because Boehner’s gonna run him a tight ship. we’ll see about that.
and oh my god, now here Boehner is crying during his victory speech. the crowd has begun chanting “USA.” it’s almost like a scene out of Tom Clancy’s worst novel.
I need to remember this feeling. so here is the Republicans’ “Pledge to America.” I should really find a way to indepently host this. but I digress. it’s full of empty promises and lofty rhetoric, and it’ll be nearly impossible to adhere to, but as it is politics, and there’s no better time than the present to begin a running log of bullshit, so let’s start here. I waxed poetic and romantic when Obama won in 2008 and a bunch of Democrats swept in on his coattails, because, let’s face it, I’m a fucking liberal, but I’ll readily admit that their governance has been a mixed bag. I guess that’s what makes me a liberal; if I weren’t, or if I self-identified somewhere else in an American political spectrum that is already skewed to the right, I’d say that liberal governance has been awful, or attrocious, or socialist, or some other such nonsense. but I’m not, you see. I’m a self-assured liberal.
it’s not like I’ve got anything to lose by predicting that the Republicans will get nothing in two years. anyone paying attention will come ot the same conclusion. they’ve got: an incoming group of ultraconservative freshmen who have vowed to oppose Democrats unilaterally; control of only one chamber of Congress; a Democratic executive branch; and no viable solutions to offer for debt reduction.
this is, after all, the party that supports across-the-board extension of the Bush tax cuts, which will cost the government something like a trillion dollars over the next decade. they aren’t really serious. they’re just happy to be here. and they could just as likely be gone in the next two years as well.
but we’ll see. two years ago, the media narrative was that America had embraced some sort of poorly defined progressive politics as defined by Barack Obama’s savvy social media campaign. now, we’re all small government conservatives. neither definition fits, I think. in fact, I think we’re all more like the angry, torch-wielding mob that was a frequent presence on “The Simpsons.”
oh well. I voted. the Democrats suck only a litle less than the Republicans, and I guess it’s time we were all reminded of that. so let’s get the next presidential election underway …

Advertisements

1 comment so far

  1. Pat on

    Meet the new boss — same as the old boss.


Comments are closed.