she owns about seven lawnmowers

I went to a “food truck festival” — yes, that’s what I’ll call it — over in that park at New York Avenue and 11th today. food trucks are popping up around Washington, and among the strange, effete hipster-yuppie hybrids that populate this town, they are all the rage. I went and I paid $3 for a goddamn chocolate sweet potato cupcake. it was delicious, and I’m ashamed of myself.

but let’s get down to brass tacks: CBS has released a poll that finds tea partiers say the Republican party represents their values. I know. get the fuck right out of town.
I just felt a sharp pain in my temple. god damn it, are politics stupid; the crazy lady who’s got a decent chance of unseating Harry Reid in Nevada said recently that Sharia law is being practiced in certain American cities. what? oh god … my temple!
when I read shit like that I am faced with the strong feeling that it is making me more dumb. a physical feeling. a feeling I am sure is not unlike the quickening in “Highlander.” there can be only one.
but see, Queen didn’t write a song about how incredibly fucking low-brow politics are in this country, and how depressing it is to be plagued with an intellectually bankrupt party like the GOP that puts dipshits like Sharron Angle in close proximity to power and influence. oh no: Queen wrote a song about the Highlander’s battles with an immortal Eurasian warlord. because that movie was the shit.
but yes. it’s definitely happening. so listen to some Tap Tap, and try not to walk into a closed door, or spill shit all over your Dockers after standing in line for twenty minutes to buy a $15 lobster roll out of the back of a catering truck. one of the other rubes might notice.
because sharia law, says Sharron Angle. jesus christ.


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