something awful

it has been almost a week, and Aarti has come to and gone from the Midwest. I had a wonderful time while she was here.
it has been almost a week, and Helen Thomas has retired because she said that Israel should “get the hell out of Palestine.” I find it hard to argue to argue with that statement when taken on its own.
it has been almost a week, and this morning I played nine holes with Uncle Bill at Indian Ridge Country Club off of 51 in Hobart. the way golf was meant to be played.

and it has been almost a week, and I come bearing bad news: I just re-upped my Facebook profile.
yeah, man, I suck. I know. I am a hyopcrite and I caved. so I will explain my situation, if not from what you’ve read here, or what I’ve told you in person:
I’m not interested in feeding my personal information into a website so it can sell reams of data on pictures, interests, and likes and dislikes to targeted advertisers. the lack of anonymity online (yes, says someone who maintains a goddamn blog) alarms me.
I’ve spent the last 45 minutes reviewing the privacy policy and setting everything to “friends only.” it is arduous, and soul-sucking. I do not like it. but I thought long and hard about it, and I have decided that the quickest way to raise money for the cancer-foundation marathon run.
yes, girls and boys, that is what this is all about. it’s not about, you, or me, or my huge goddamn ego. unearthing my Facebook profile — like a reanimated corpse, hellbent on walkng the earth as a vessel of plague — is so I can more easily fundraise for the Ishan Gala Foundation. that is it. I swear to god.
I am going to run like a motherfucker all this summer so that I can raise $1,000 for this group, that drums up dollars and funnels it into cancer research. it is going to be really hot the next few months. there are gonna be cars, all over the goddamn roads. and I am going to lumber up and down the streets and through traffic so that I can help scare up that cash. I need your sponsorship, so if you can spare a dollar — even a dollar — that will be awesome, and I will high-five you at the future location of your choice.
so come be my stupid, stupid Facebook friend, and let’s hope it doesn’t do more harm than good. right.

so donate some money
it is tax-deductable
please please please make this worth my while because I reactivated my Facebook account
and here is a Grand Buffet song


1 comment so far

  1. mowgli on

    i want everyone to know that you said you’re going to try and “beat me” by getting more facebook friends that i have.

    admit matt. it has its claws in you.

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