Archive for May, 2010|Monthly archive page

give thanks

today is early Memorial Day, which makes this picture very out of season. but I love it.

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Native

“well. it was your hot dog.” — my mother’s neighbor to her daughter on Friday night. the hot dog has landed her daughter’s significant other in jail … and that’s a story for a less public medium.
anyway, I moved mom’s neighbor’s entire goddamn bead-jewelry store from one rented space to another today. she only packed about half of that shit before we got there this morning. so. many. goddamn beads, dude.  the place is called “La Beada Loca.” like the Ricky Martin song. and I had it in my head all day.

I went to a rock and roll show

there’s a train rolling by right now. it’s really loud. I dig it, the ambiance.
so Neil’s on his way back to the Los Angeles area, if he isn’t there yet. yesterday evening, he and I and his brother and his brother’s friend went and saw Neil’s other brother’s band at that coffeeshop that I saw him at last week. you remember.
the band is loud, man. it’s really loud. Dan hooked me up with a t-shirt (that I’m wearing right now) and an album, which I will talk up, though it’s not really my thing. Matt a decade ago would have been all about this shit, but I’m old and boring now. so I’ll just do it because Dan is legit.
“the kids love them,” Neil says. and they’re on tour right now, and there’s no way any of their shows are gonna cost more than ten dollars a head right now. so if they’re in your town, go, and find out what it is that the kids love. oh yes: they are called Native. go and listen to some loud rock and lots of tempo changes.

grandma writes exclusively in cursive

my grandmother is compiling a bunch of stories. it’s referred to as “the book.” I have been proofreading it.
this shit is fascinating. my grandmother is pretty sharp for almost 90, and, like many an old lady, she likes to gossip. so with that in mind, it is a family history distinctly told through my grandmother’s point of view. she is very matter of fact, and there is no guile to it. it is very honest and it’s unquestionably genuine, and it’s not a very hard read at all.
I may not be the best judge of that. it is, in fact, my family history as told by the family matriarch, and I am of course interested.
she’s like the record keeper. grandma’s version of events are a big frame of reference for what I understand of my geneology, and no doubt she embellishes and forgets. but I think the vast majority of it is true.
so what did I read that tipped off this note?
well: my great grandfather William learned to read some time in the 1890s as a conscript in the Hungarian army. after the army he went home, picked up his teenage brother (who would go on to open the first bar in Gary, Indiana), and they moved to Budapest, where they bought a pair of goats and sold goat’s milk on the street, and saved for passage to New York City. and they eventually did. 
that’s like some American Tail shit, man.
and that is awesome that grandma bothered to write this down so that I will know it.

fuck them

I know I’m late to the game on this, but you can watch BP’s slow ass permanently damage the Gulf of Mexico … all courtesy of BP!

I saw Neil tonight.
nothing says Neil like “euro trash girl” by Cracker. if you weren’t there tonight, I wish you had been. it was like a high-school reunion, only it didn’t suck!

George Washington with a knife between his teeth

the oil leak continues, in pictures.

I just saw a friend of mine, Dan Gratz. I’ve run into more people sitting on my ass at this coffee shop than I’ve seen walking around Valparaiso for the past week. 
Dan and I and a handful of other idiots used to go to punk rock shows a lot in high school. we also used to toilet-paper people’s houses on the weekends. or that might have been his brother that I did that with, who is our age as well … but no matter. it’s eight years later, and now he paints. Dan Gratz is an alright dude. check out his rad shit here.

take that to the bank

“weak.” — mom’s judgment on “Hard to Kill” starring Steven Seagal.

I watched this movie last night with my mother.  it involves two sex scenes (during which our hero freely gropes), a lot of dislocated limbs and Steven Seagal wearing track suits and mumbling
in “Hard to Kill,” Steven Seagal uses a lot of aikido moves to horribly maim a series of antagonists, and while training, uses accupuncture and buddhist meditation techniques to get back up to fightin’ strength. he also has a ponytail.
the one thing about Steven Seagal’s movies: I don’t think of him in character. it isn’t Mason Storm, seeking vengeance for his dead wife and kid. no, it’s Steven Seagal. Seagal is kneecapping that cholo. Seagal is breaking that dirty cop’s arm before shooting the other dirty cop three times at ten paces with a large-caliber handgun. 
it makes the movie all that more entertaining to think of it as some sort of extension of the lead actor’s fantastical ego. I mean, when you watch this bullshit, what else is the point? it probably made Seagal a couple million dollars, tops. it served no other function than that. 
but one thing you’ll notice when watching Steven Seagal movies: he’s clearly an asshole. I could be wrong, but it looks to me like he follows through just a little too much on every punch he throws in the action sequences. the stuntmen had to have gone home from those shoots saying, “thanks a lot, dick. you bruised my sternum and broke three ribs on me for the sake of realism.”

important shit

I signed up to run the Marine Corps Marathon in late October through the Ishan Gala Foundation, which raises money for cancer research. you can find the foundation here.
anyway, I’m looking to raise some duckets for the foundation, and any little bit of help would be appreciated. that’s right, I’m asking for your funds. that’s a first for the blog, and I’m gonna have to do a lot more than mentioning it on here to get anywhere near the $1,000 I’m gunning for. because no one reads this shit. it may be, boys and girls, that raising money for the marathon/foundation may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back … and gets me to join Facebook again.
but not just yet. click here and give me some money please.

come get some pot roast

I am sitting in the backyard, pirating wireless internet from a neighbor.

so  I got “Hard to Kill” and “Wall Street” on VHS yesterday at the Goodwill store. $1 for the both of them. mom still tried to use a coupon.
today is more yard work, and more running, and I’m gonna try to download literally three years of photos from mom’s camera onto her computer, or mine. I bet there are some legit pictures on there. and not in the sarcastic way, Mar.

back in Indiana

quote of the last week:
“but what about your hobo bludgeon?” — Aarti, helping me pack the truck.

album of the drive out Midwest way:
A Night At The Opera by Queen. Pat (scroll down) burned me a bunch of Queen albums on my way out the Progress door. because if you didn’t know: Queen is awesome.
PLUS A BONUS TRACK.

what’s happening right now:
I am at a coffee shop in Valparaiso. it is easily the hippest place in dowtown Valparaiso I have ever been. there’s indy rock playing on someone’s ipod stereo, and all of the teenagers in here look emaciated. 
also: Neil’s brother works behind the counter! I haven’t seen him in years. easily in years. Neil’s brother reports that Neil is coming back to town for a visit next week. nice. there’s another Evans I haven’t seen in years.
the wireless internet here sucks. it keeps dropping out on me. but that’s okay. I walked down here about two hours ago, and I’ve drank a lot of cheap coffee. I’m gonna walk back to mom’s in a little bit.
earlier today, she and I dropped a bunch of shit off at Goodwill, and I saw they were selling a copy of “Hard to Kill” starring Steven Seagal on VHS. I’m thinking about going back and getting it tomorow. I could use some Seagal.
yes, I know. nothing says “I’m unemployed” like giving dedicated thought to buying a Steven Seagal tape from a second-hand store. so check back in tomorrow for updates.

so long, Daily Progress

it’s been way too real.