Archive for September, 2008|Monthly archive page

I need a hug goddamnit

the bailout plan exploded today, at the White House. from what I’ve read, the Democrats and the administration showed up, and then we’re completely shocked that the Republicans — specifically the House GOP — weren’t on board. apparently, Hank Paulson got down on a knee and begged Nancy Pelosi “not to blow (the deal) up.” begged her. and she said, “it’s the Republicans you need to worry about.”
no, this is not dinner theater.

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I need hugs

one minute before George Bush speaks.
an unpopular and lame-duck president is gonna sell a $700 billion bailout of Wall Street to the nation. I’ve heard he’s going to use the word “calamity.”
I don’t know how the fuck he’s gonna do it; in fact, I doubt he will. he’ll have to be brutally honest, and say something like …


9:02 pm. looks like he’s wearing a lot of rouge.
“(this rescue effort is aimed at) preserving America’s overall economy.”
9:03. “I know many Americans have questions tonight: ‘How did our economy reach this point?'” and then, ohmygod, he’s gonna try to explain it. influx of foreign cash, changing interest rates. and then … the housing market led to excesses and bad decisions …
9:04. “and then, with supply exceeding demands, housing markets fell.” ohhh. now I get it.
9:05. still talking about it. now we’re talking about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
I can just imagine some guy getting off his shift at Inland Steel, slugging a Budweiser, and watching this shit: “what in the hell …”
9:06. “with the situation becoming more precarious by the day, I faced a choice …”
“I’m a strong believer in free enterprise … but these are not normal circumstances.”
9:09. says he understands frustration of responsible American taxpayers. “not paying a bill now would cost these Americans more later.” and now, he’s explaining the bailout plan.
9:11. he says: this thing will pay for itself. because as we sell off these assets and calm market volatility, people won’t lose their homes and money will flow back into the federal reserve.  that’s paraphrased, obviously.
9:13: “(Democratic capitalism) has made this country the best in the world to invest and do business.”
except when it’s not, like now, and we have to basically clean the slate for the titans of industry. $700 billion mulligan! you all get a do-over. and then can continue on your way.

my brother said today, “this is just a way to continue trickle-down economics.”
you know what, fuck it. fuck it. let’s have some social upheaval. what have I got to lose? a couple grand in student loans and a shitty job? I’ll survive.

today in politics.
McCain says he’s suspending his campaign so he can return to Washington and work on a bipartisan effort to get this bullshit passed. he also wants to temporarily suspend Friday night’s scheduled debate in Mississippi. he called on Obama to join him in this. there’s gonna be a big dance-off at the White House tomorrow afternoon, when a national gallery of the same assholes who share the blame for this fucking mess will come together to save us all.
Obama told him to eat a dick; he’s going to the debate, and the corporation that runs the debates says the event is still on. so that means that McCain will probably go anyway.
as far as McCain going back to DC: you gotta acknowledge, whether it works or not, that it’s a decent political move. he’s been fading in the polls as the economy has melted down. it’s painfully obvious that McCain doesn’t have the slightest idea what the fuck he’s talking about, so instead of consistently losing this argument, he throws a splitter. it certainly beats losing.

now Obama has to respond to all of this “suspend the campaign” bullshit. he did, and it was: no. he’ll show up in DC tomorrow for an Oval Office circle jerk, but the game’s still on. because, really: why the fuck would Obama take the bait and follow a flag-bearing McCain back to Washington so McCain can pretend he has any grasp on the situation? “suspend the campaign” my ass. the cameras will follow him anywhere. and John McCain is grasping at straws, trying to regain some sort of competitve edge that has eluded him over the last week. and only the dumbest of rubes would agree to that.
I can’t believe that McCain’s campaign would be as shortsighted enough to basically dismiss a debate like that. really;  during one of those events, I was convinced he’d close any gap he had at the polls. but instead, McCain’s gambled on some delusional idea that he’ll become the savior of the nation’s economic woes. he’s going to break the gridlock. he’ll somehow gain bipartisan support for a massively unpopular bill. 
think on it: he’s banking, hard, on the notion that congressional Democrats will defer to the Republican presidential candidate, that they’ll let him take the mantle of authority — thereby submarining their own candidate.
and while they’re stupid — oh god, are Democrats stupid — I don’t think they’re stupid enough to buy into this bullshit. “oh, McCain just wants to help! a proven economic policy neophyte is going to bring a fresh approach to this dire situation, completely devoid of ulterior political motives! sure, Mr. McCain; we’re down. what astounding economic observations, solutions, did you have in mind? lower taxes for people in an income bracket 95 percent of the country will never acchieve? GREAT FUCKING CALL.”

also: I’m watching MSNBC (there’s my bias for yous!), and even though Rachel Maddow is an obvious partisan — and lesbian — she’s not nearly as bad/grating as Keith Olbermann. that motherfucker makes my skin crawl.

boo hoo, I’m sad and lonely

as I see it, the naked chick is the American taxpayer. the guy with the knife, that’s the Bush administration/federal treasury/anyone associated with “Wall Street”. and the giant meathead in the helmet, full of animal rage, flying into the scene like a human missile? that’s Righteous Justice. the octopus at the bottom is Smith, and the crocodile is Josh. the crocodile is also gay.

I read an opinion in the Wall Street Journal that basically laid out how implicit John McCain and many in his inner circle have been in the deregulation of markets in the last couple of decades.
I also read in the Washington Post that because of our impending financial doom, Barack Obama has opened up the first clear lead over McCain since the general election started. I didn’t read the whole article, god bless. but I’d posit to say that it isn’t because most trust Obama to fix the economy — he just couldn’t possibly know less about it than McCain. I’m sure Obama’s okay with that, though.

I’m not kidding though, if ever there were an interesting time to pay attention to politics, now is the time. Ben Bernanke — who comes across as an egghead and not someone you want to push in front of a bus — and Hank Paulson — who comes across as someone you’d want to put in front of a bus — walked into a world of shit at a Senate hearing yesterday.

so. so here’s a quote form that story attributed to Paulson.
– “I’m not only concerned, I’m angry about the things that got us here. It makes me angry, and it makes you angry. You talk about taxpayers being on the hook? Guess what? They’re already on the hook. If the system isn’t stabilized, they’re going to bear the cost.”
act now, act fast, this must be done, etc.
and here’s a quote from some random Democratic representative named Taylor from Mississippi that you’ve heard of, which is exactly the point:
– “Where have I heard this before? ‘The Iraqis have weapons of mass destruction, and they’re ready to use them.’ I’m in no rush to do this.”

meanwhile, where I am, Virginia is facing something like a possible $2.9 billion budget deficit next year. I know this, because I read newspapers. now, that’s a relatively small faced with the larger Wall Street bailout or whatever insanely large sum California is dealing with nowadays, but still. the governor is calling on all state agencies to submit contingency plans in which they slash 5, 10, and 15 percent of their budgets. that’s a lot of money. it’s also an arguably bold way to address the deficit, but that’ll only hold if it doesn’t take a decade of underfunding public works.
anyway, a national implication from this: Obama can thank his goddamned stars, and his well-compensated vice presidential search squad, that he didn’t pick Tim Kaine as his running mate. or maybe he can thank dumb luck. I don’t know. Kaine’s big thing was a) he’s “southern” (no he’s not) and b) he had Virginia’s economy humming. and now it looks like that fun machine has taken a dump and died.

and now it is time to hate on Terry McAuliffe.
there’s a term limit for the governor in Va., so Kaine’s out in 2009. the state AG, I think — that may be wrong — he’s running unopposed for the GOP nomination, and there’s a couple of state senators vying for the Democrats’ nod. they’ve been going at it with a low heat for a couple of months now, but this foul chili is about to get a whole lot spicier now that Terry McAuliffe is apparently considering running for the Democratic nomination.

here’s my rundown on Terry McAuliffe, are you ready, yeah you’re ready, let’s do this:
McAuliffe’s a party name, who’s worked on a dozen Democratic campaigns over the last couple of decades, either in a financial or managerial role. he’s very wealthy, and he lives in McLean. from 2001-2005, he was the Democratic National Committee chairman (who Howard Dean is now), during which he was involved with creating some giant donor database called “Demzilla” and making the DNC something like $500 million dollars.
he gets lots of credit within the party for this, apparently. because apparently, Terry McAuliffe has a lot of pull — he was chairman of the Hillary Clinton for president campaign over the last year, for instance. it seems that the Clintons love his ass. in ’96 he was the co-chair of the reelection campaign for Bill Clinton and Al Gore.
so yeah. he’s a good fundraiser. and the Clintons like him. and he lives in McLean, which means he’s got his finger on the pulse of what’s happening in the state of Virginia. McLean and Big Stone Gap are basically the same place.
all of that being said, it should be noted that McAuliffe presided over the Democratic party when it routinely got its ass handed to it by the Republicans. who remembers 2001 to 2005? I remember it. the Republican party of the Bush administration started two wars and won reelection, while retaining majorities in both the House and Senate.
it is arguable that because Terry McAuliffe created a donor database and raised a bunch of dough during the time the Democrats were being treated like the new fish on cell block D, he laid the groundwork for the Democratic takeover of Congress in 2006, and the possibly the White House in November. it is also arguable that his ass had nothing to do with it. I prescribe to the latter theory.

so. so great job, Terry. you’re obviously leadership material. and since you’re so clearly not some opportunist who treats a spin in the governor’s chair like something to tack onto your resume, by all means. you’re more than qualified to be the executive of Virginia. I’m sure you’ll have nothing but its best intentions at heart.
I wish I knew the Clintons. cronyism would get me a better job than the one I have now.

hot graphic workplace sex dream

this is gonna be awesome, because this is gonna sound very wooden.

so I had a dream the other night. it was a sex dream.

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oh god we’re all going to die

I spend one goddamned evening not paying attention to the news, and the news goes and pulls this shit on me.

Treasury, Hill leaders plan massive bailout

according to Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut, who, with quiverying double chin in tow, attended the Capitol Hill meeting with Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson:

“This is a very serious moment, very serious. It was a very sober gathering. I’ve been in the Senate for 28 years; Congress 34. There has never been a moment as serious as this one.”

tomorrow will be an interesting day.


this financial crisis shit is just unbelievable.
and it is going to take another beer before I attempt to think on it.

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what she said

You know, the stock market fell 500 points today, and it’s times like this when I really hate Republicans.  If Republicans would get over it and stop acting like the government is a huge fat retarded child, like it’s something we should minimize and marginalize and fuck those yahoos who we elect to public office, if they would stop acting like that, then maybe it would help people realize that we keep getting the government we deserve, and when you act like a politician falls somewhere between used car salesman and door to door snake oil peddler, you get a bunch of lying thieving assholes.


I gotta say.
Sarah Palin gave her first, and so far only, interview to ABC’s Charles Gibson earlier this week. it’s being released in excerpts, so ABC can milk it for everything it’s worth. fair enough. as far as I know, Palin hasn’t agreed to — let alone given — any other interviews as of this writing.

much has been made of this sitdown. in the first released segment, Gibson asked Palin a bunch of foreign policy questions. the big gaffes that the media have made note of are: she suggested war might be necessary with Russia if it were in defense of a fellow NATO country, and she didn’t know what the Bush doctrine was.
on the way home from work tonight, I listened to about five minutes of the Diane Rehm show on the radio, where they interviewed a bunch of political pundits who said it was various degrees of incompetent and passing.
but they’re missing the point.
don’t worry, I know what it is. but I gotta go meet this guy for a drink right about now, so I’ll save the rest of this for when I come home and I’m probably drunk.

… I found mustard on the television remote when I woke up this morning …

okay, it’s been about 13 hours.
everyone is dancing around the issue with Sarah Palin on foreign affairs. it has been widely acknowledged that she’s been getting frantic policy lessons from her GOP handlers. even her supporters, when “analyzing” the Gibson interview, readily admit that. her detractors spend time mulling over the nuances in this performance, but what they should be talking about is that she simply doesn’t know.
she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about. say that again. 
what, is she studying for a fucking high school government exam? she’s cramming on foreign policy, for christ’s sake. she doesn’t have an opinion on any of that shit, she’s just demonstrating that she can memorize talking points. that interview with Gibson was unnecessary before it even began because Sarah Palin doesn’t know what she’s talking about. the interview just confirmed it.
“yeah,” her defenders say, “but there’s a lot of different definitions of the Bush doctrine.”
okay, I’ll acknowledge that. fine. that doesn’t change the more-important truth: that she doesn’t know what any of those definitions are. because, again, she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about. look, here’s an analogy. I once read the first twenty pages of Henry Miller’s “Tropic of Cancer.” I can tell you what happened. but that doesn’t mean I have any idea what the hell was actually going on. Sarah Palin has proven she’s now familiar with John McCain’s worldview. great. we’ve confirmed she knows what John McCain thinks about the Georgian conflict. we still have no idea what she thinks about it. why? because she hasn’t thought about it ever, for all we know.
so who cares what she has to say? she’s no great mind on these issues, and her nationally televised display of rote memorization just confirms that. she’s just — unfortunately, I might add — a major party candidate. if McCain wins the election and then inevitably dies from old age, we’re all fucked, because this clown from Alaska will suddenly be in charge of everything. goddamned Republicans. they’ve got no problem putting an amazingly incompetent asshole in office, just as long as that asshole belongs to them.

let’s reminisce!

I used to do this bullshit where I’d name a song, and then relate the memory I have associated with it. like, the other day, Josh sends me an email or a text message that says, ‘what’s the name of the David Bowie song that gives you chills?’ and he also called me ‘gay’, I believe.
there’s a David Bowie song that at some point has given me chills, so I sat there and thought on it for a while, because I couldn’t remember which song it was … and I was at work and looking for an excuse for distraction. I answered ‘starman’, which was probably right, but truthfully, it’s the entire album that it’s on. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. is that name right? it’s something ridiculous like that.
anyway, that album’s the shit, start to back. I listened to it on loop when I drove out to California a couple of years ago, and now I don’t know where it is.
even more specifically, I listened to it between Jerome and Congress, Arizona. I had decided to get off of the interstate to “see the countryside” on State Road 89, which took a ridiculously long time — but it was fucking cool, man. you’re quite high up when you get into Jerome, a mine town turned artist’s retreat, which is like fifteen buildings on the side of a mountain looking to the northeast and huge skies … and then from there you go through Prescott, a town large enough to draw fast food chains. and then you continue on south/southwest into nothing.
and then, just past this mailing address called Yarnell (I’m looking at a map), you come through a gap in the hills, and you’re on the side of another bare mountain and the dropoff is on your left and immediate. and when I crossed this peak, it was a Monday at sunset in the middle of nowhere. nothing on the horizon, no signs of life spare this massive, lonely, uninhabited water purification plant in the valley spread below, and everything ws red. this is because Arizona can be very red and dusty, like a Martian landscape. and ‘Five Years’ was playing.
and you could see for miles and miles, just red earth and orange sunlight and more faraway mountains to west, and I remember thinking, “Jesus. I’m far away now.”

those sons of bitches

I’m up at 3 am listening to Sister Nancy songs.

so in the last week, the McCain campaign has come on pretty goddamned strong. since the GOP convention, they’ve pulled even, or ahead, according to the polls I’ve seen.
this has nothing to do with the quality of the McCain/Palin ticket. in fact, Sarah Palin can eat my shit. but they’re winning.
if, Jesus, if we spend the next two fucking months talking about lipstick and pigs … well, then, I’m not going to declare anything, because I know we will. so much for issues. instead, we’re gonna talk about McCain Street USA and how Palin stood up to earmarks and said “no!” to unnecessary government spending. speaking of which, did you hear about how she opposed the Bridge to Nowhere? yeah. she wanted nothing to do with that federal money. Sarah Palin doesn’t take earmarks. oh, and while we’re talking politics, did you hear that that muslim Barack Obama wants to teach kindergarteners sex ed? it’s true. would you like to watch a factual video documenting this, prepared by the McCain campaign? yeah, can you believe that shit? that’s fucking disgusting.

this shit has to stop. really. this ‘pull the campaign into the mud’ bullshit has to end. are we not better than this? does the campaign really have to be about personalities instead of issues, like McCain’s campaign manager says? really? doesn’t anyone realize how fucking awful that sounds? the economy’s in the tank and going farther south fast, the entire world hates us, we’re gonna be in Iraq well into 2009 at least, Afghanistan has turned into an utter disaster, the Russians are landing long-range bombers in Venezuela, the federal government just scrambled to pull off an unprecedented bailout of failed banks so we don’t all lose our homes, suddenly the only answer to the growing energy crisis is to immediately open up offshore drilling to INSANELY wealthy oil companies as soon as fucking possible, and McCain, a senator who has solidly supported many — no, most — of “Dim” George Bush’s policies, has usurped Obama as the candidate of “change.” the incumbent party candidate is doing this.
and how did he do this? simple! he said “change” a bunch during his convention speech.
… what the fuck!!??
I know I’m always incredibly pessimistic about politics, about the intelligence of the average US voter, but it’s not like I want to be right. I don’t look forward to being let down.
BUT: I remember four years ago, thinking, “there’s no fucking way this country is stupid enough to vote Bush into a second term in the White House. no way.”
and then, the campaigns, and the media, talked about nothing but flip flopping and gay marriage and swift boats, as if these buzzwords and non-issues had ANY goddamned place in the runup to the election of arguably the most important political office in the world. and then the big night came, and I had a bunch of people over to my apartment and it started off good and fun and I got drunk.
and as the night wore on I sobered up. and then Bush won Ohio after Karl Rove convinced every stupid asshole in the Buckeye state that they were on the verge of being overrun by San Francisco faggots bent on matrimony.

and viola. shitty politics work. I hate it, but it’s true. these motherfuckers will say anything to win.
presently, the McCain campaign wants an apology for lipstick on a pig.
here we go again.

3rd edit: I can’t believe I actually linked to a Andrew Sullivan article. it was right here, but I went back and read it again and read what I wrote, and then my self respect kicked in, and I deleted it. “patience and steel”? what the fuck does that mean?

2nd edit: I know I go back and forth on this constantly, just this weekend I was talking to Spencer and told him that even considering everything above, I think Obama’s going to win. he said, “a couple of months ago, you were convinced McCain is going to win.” see? I can’t plant my feet on anything these days. so I’m sticking with it: Obama is going to win.