super tuesday on TV

9:54. alright, that’s three hours. I’m going to take what’s left of my self esteem and stop this.

9:51. good god, Hume is fucking huge. he’s talking to jackass pundit-extraordinaire, Sean Hannity, and he’s just towering over him. he looks like Lurch from The Addams Family.

9:43. and now Olbermann is interviewing Howard Dean. of course he is.

on Fox News, Britt Hume is holding court with … I think that’s Bill Kristol. they’re talking about the Republican field. which sounds about right. the whole television set looks like a giant acquarium.

9:26. I think of Chris Kattan’s impersonation of Paul Begala whenever I see Paul Begala. god, it’s funny.

I could really stand some Ice Hockey for the Nintendo right now. but I loaned it to Dudd in college, and he never gave it back. now, he’s a noncom in the Navy after dropping out of school. he’s also married, and stepfather to a teenager. jesus. he can have the fucking game. 

also, Obama gets Alabama, Clinton’s got Missouri, and McCain gets New York. I think Clinton gets Missouri.

9:05. ABC News is calling its coverage program Showdown: Coast to Coast.
see, I keep throwing out these observations and not trying to follow them up with punchlines. Showdown: Coast to Coast is laughable enough.

Diane Sawyer and George Stephanopolous and a bunch of folks I can’t identify on sight are talking about Clinton. Stephanopolous is like a Greek leprechaun. or a satyr. it’s hard to take anything he says seriously.

also, my chili is delicious!

8:47. just for kicks, lets see what Nancy Grace is talking about on Headline News.

the graphic on the screen reads Day 8: executive businessman vanishes! she’s interviewing a bunch of rednecks about a missing person case in Little Rock. “does he have any kids?” Nancy asks. 

Nancy just had twins. those children will grow up, and they’ll be evil, vicious little bastards, and someday will enslave the world.

8:43. Joe Scarborough is the corniest asshole on television. Scarborough is like the leader of MSNBC’s junior varsity squad. it’s always him, Pat “the neverending box of shit” Buchanan and the most obvious lesbian in the history of cable news. oh, and Eugene Robinson from the Post. The conversation, that goes on between those four when the cameras are off, must be unbearable.

8:36. hey, it’s Lester Holt. holla back, CBS2 Chicago! 

8:22. Chris Matthews suggests a McCain/Huckabee ticket to Sen. Mel Martinez form Fla. god fucking damn it. I mean, god damn it. that can’t be allowed to happen. 

also, Matthews suggests Huckabee is McCain’s Jesus, cause he’s sacrificing himself against Romney. Huckabee as Jesus, says Chris Matthews.

8:17. Fox News has Karl Rove as a political commentator. no, really. 

8:05. McCain gets Connecticut and Illinois. Obama gets Illinois, obviously. Romney gets Mass. OK. Huck gets Georgia. so says MSNBC, so  say we all. 

7:39. Chris Matthews is interviewing Bobby Rush. Rush beat Obama a few years back in a Democratic primary for Rush’s seat in Congress, but now Rush is endorsing him. Matthews is pressing that tack for all it’s worth.

7:16. I’m making chili. grandma gave me directions over the phone. it’s nice; it serves a nicer purpose to call home for besides some forced conversation. also, Keith Olbermann. Olberrman? really irritates me.  

7:00. if you actually listen to Wolf Blitzer talk – meaning, if you placed his pattern of speech in a regular conversation, it’s like a guy who has a curse that keeps  him from ever finishing a sentence. when he’s on screen, he never, stops, talking. you’re right, Mike. 

also, CNN calls Georgia primary for Obama.

6:41 pm. I’m going to try and do this live. meaning, continuously update this over the evening while I watch political coverage. so, we’ll see how that goes.

I’ve got the News Hour on. Shields and Brooks, who are normally dry as fucking toast, are being interviewed by Jim Lehrer. who I am convinced, with my heart and soul, is a robot. he has huge black pupils and the steadiest voice I’ve ever heard. it freaks me out, bad.

but the columnists are talking about two things: why the rest of the GOP field doesn’t like Romney, and why the far right is all over McCain. the general consensus on the McCain hating is that they hate him because he isn’t a, quoting Brooks, “a true believer.” he disagrees with the liberals, he doesn’t loathe them. McCain will compromise, he isn’t a zealot.
and that’s exactly why I hate Romney. you know he doesn’t believe the shit he’s saying, but he’s purposely appealing to the zealots. Limbaughs, Coulters, etc. Romney just wants to be out front, he could care less what cause he’s fronting.

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