you don’t want to know how I feel about that

it has become somewhat of a tradition in the family that I write the chintzy, asshole Christmas letter that mom mails out once a year. which is fun, cause mom has a really good sense of humor about it, and I’m allowed to write just about whatever I want. within reason. of course.

its growing harder to write, as I really don’t know what’s going on with everyone on a daily basis anymore. I’m no longer a regular Valparaiso fixture, so a lot of the stuff I add about moms and grandma and my uncle is second hand. so their entries suffer a little. nevertheless, it’s still entertaining. enough that I’m preserving it here, in eternal WordPress memory.

so, here it is, sans last names. got to make a halfhearted attempt at privacy, after all.

To all of our dear friends: Season’s greetings!

What a year of ups and downs it has been! So much has happened in our neck of the woods that it may be impossible to include it all in the confines of a holiday-time update. But rest assured, it won’t be for a lack of trying.

To begin on a somber note, August marked the loss of Aunt Nettie K, who went to the Lord just shy of 95. The house has grown emptier, if quieter, with her passing. But rather than grieve her death, we celebrated a full life, knowing she’s gone on to a better place.

Without skipping a beat – Valerie has been kept busy by the Merillville school system and its steady supply of special education students. She recently realized a lifelong dream of being the most popular coed on campus with her induction into Delta Kappa Gamma International, a teacher’s honor sorority. Val is finally a Delta Kap, and can’t wait for the first spring formal!

Meanwhile, Uncle Billy D has settled in across town on his lakefront property. He recently installed an above-ground pool, which immediately drew the envy of every neighbor on two blocks, and is a regular fixture on Northview Drive for Grandma Mary D’s many home-cooked meals.

Grandma Mary was sad to see sister Nettie go, but has stayed busy with the family nonetheless. She, Valerie and young Mary M found time in the closing days of summer to visit the Pacific Northwest for the annual Family Vacation. Grandma, who chooses to buck the rules as a matter of course, fed the animals inside Olympic National Park despite a brochure that specifically asked her not to. Take that, National Park Service!

And speaking of young Mary: She’s on the verge of college graduation and her first step into the void in May, and has had quite the year herself. She spent last spring studying abroad in Budapest, Hungary, and was able to travel to Dalmatia, Poland, and everywhere in between during only a few months. She took a lot of pictures and picked up a little Hungarian along the way, most of which she taught only to the dog upon her return. Big Mar then spent the summer on the placid lakes of Minnesota, acting as a canoe guide at a Boy Scout Camp. Girl power, Mar!

Matt M, on the other hand, kept most of his globetrotting stateside. He left his newspaper position in California for another editor’s desk in the more familiar climes of Charlottesville, Virginia, where he currently resides (Any slanderous rumors you’ve heard of Matt being run out of El Centro by an angry, torch-wielding mob are entirely untrue). He managed to squeeze a visit to Mary in Budapest between jobs, and the two rascals were able to make it to Bulgaria’s Black Sea coast before running out of patience with European train travel and, subsequently, each other.

Matt’s move east has put him much closer to Washington, D.C. And the greatest thing D.C. has to offer – besides a chance to witness the White House and Congress work together in perfect harmony for the greater good of the nation – is Mike, Virginia, and the spud herself, Anna. Hounddog turns two this February, and Mike has already taught her to say “Eers” when she spots the logo of the West Virginia University football squad. Virginia, obviously, is overjoyed.

Well, that concludes the 2007 edition of the M family holiday update! Such an exciting time to be alive, and so much to do in the next year. Will Mary subdue her wanderlust and finish college? Will lazy, listless Matt hold down a job longer than a few months? Will Delta Kap Valerie get asked to the big dance? Will the nation pull a stupid and elect Mitt Romney? Only time will tell. Until then, we can only wish you the merriest of Christmases, and a healthy, happy New Year.

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3 comments so far

  1. ashley on

    well isn’t that cute? 🙂 ha.

  2. Anonymous on

    Aw, the only thing that gives me fuzzier holiday feelings than Huckabees Merry Christmas ad is Matty McMullans Christmas letter.

    -Ashley L.

    http://www.mikehuckabee.com/?FuseAction=Blogs.View&Blog_id=920

  3. […] I have to write the annual family Christmas letter tonight. Christmas, letter, tonight. so everybody get […]


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